[The
Dream] [The
Fear] [The
Frustration]
The
Frustration
I
slumped at my desk and closed my eyes in an effort to trap the tears
that threatened to escape. "I'm ready to give up, Lord! I've
worked on this manuscript and worked on it some more. It's just
not getting anywhere."
"I'm
weary of the battle, Lord. I don't think I'll ever finish this novel."
Tears traced wet paths down my face.
Oh,
great! I palmed them away. "Please, Lord, if you have an
idea to share, I could use it now."
Commit
your work to the Lord, and then your plans will succeed.*
What?
Surely God knew I had dedicated all my writing to him from the very
beginning.
Commit
your work to the Lord, and then your plans will succeed.*
A
cold fist hit my heart. Obviously I was missing something behind
those twelve short words. Something important.
Several
hours later, I pushed my concordances, commentaries, and dictionaries
aside and picked up what I had distilled from them. I stared at
the pages. So that was the problem.
Committing
my work to the Lord was more than offering a quick prayer before
I barreled ahead with my writing plan. It was spreading everything
before the Lord each morning—my manuscript, plans, deadline schedules—and
most of all, myself. It was sharing my difficulties and delights
with him---writing and otherwise. It was praying, "Lord, here
am I. Use me. What do you want me to accomplish today?"
I
knelt down to do that very thing.
Before
long I saw significant progress in the novel's development. Excitement
about the project returned! I couldn't wait to get to my desk each
morning and boot up the computer.
How
glad I am to have learned this valuable lesson: Being a Christian
writer isn't a simple matter of being a Christian and writing. It's
being a Christian who lays her writing gift at the feet of the Lord
and obeys him. As I look back, every one of my published manuscripts
was a fruit of God's plan, not mine. Painful as all the years of
struggle have been, I am grateful that God continues to preserve
that precious pattern.
*
Proverbs 16:3 (NLT)
***
Dear
Reader, this piece has been a long time coming, and now you know
why. <G> Until next time . . . look to the Lord. He will help
you overcome your frustrations!
~
Beth
Copyright
2005 Beth Ann Ziarnik
The
Fear
Fear
gripped me in the pre-dawn dimness! Had I tackled a writhing anaconda?
What made me think I could weave all the intriguing elements of
fiction into flowing perfection? What made me think I could capture
readers' attention . . . entertain them . . . inspire them . . .
make them feel my characters' passions as they pursued their
dreams?
I
squeezed my eyelids shut and burrowed my head in my pillow. Even
if ---by some fluke---I managed to do all that, what made
me think someone would publish my novel? The marketplace grew tighter
every day...the competition greater. I was getting older!
I
groaned. Was I out of my mind? O God, you gave me this dream.
I'm doing my best, but I'm scared to death I can't pull it off.
God
has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, and of love and
of a sound mind.
Wha...?
The words from 2 Timothy 1:7 (NEB) wrapped me like a warm blanket---words
I had written on a note card and kept on my desk as a reminder that
fear is not from God. His enemy uses it, pressing in to squeeze
the life from my creative efforts . . . to stop me from accomplishing
the good God gave me to do.
I
threw back the covers and bolted out of bed, wielding the words
like a sword. "God has not given me a spirit of fear!"
I shouted, "but of power! Of love! And a sound mind!"
Fear
slithered away.
I
took a deep breath and marched into my home office, vowing to fight
fear with the Word of God every time it showed its scaly head. For
"I can do everything through him [Christ] who gives me strength
(Philippians 4:13, NIV)" and "with God all things
are possible (Matthew 19:26, KJV)."
Sitting
down before my computer, I prayed as I booted up. Time to get to
work . . . with the Lord.
***
Thanks
again, dear reader, for sharing in my journey---a writer's journey
not unique to me. <G> Until the next time . . . Fight fear
and work with the Lord!
~
Beth
Copyright
2004 Beth Ann Ziarnik
The
Dream
We
all
have dreams. My dad used to say, "You might as well dream big!
It doesn't cost you anything."
True---when
you're only dreaming. But venture out to achieve your dream, and
"cost" soon reveals itself.
What
does it cost to be an author of a Christian romance novel? Here's
a small portion of what I've learned so far:
Is
it too high a price? Not when, finally, it all comes together. Your
book is born. Your dream becomes a reality. There is nothing like
holding that first copy of your new book in your hands . . . or
so I'm told . . .
For
I have yet to hold the first copy of Her Rightful Inheritance
in my hands.
Though
I'm well past the dreaming stage . . . and a great distance through
the cost stage . . . I continue to labor.
At
the present time I'm preparing the proposal for my first inspirational
romantic suspense novel. Very soon I will launch its marketing campaign
and enter the endurance stage . . .
Only
our beloved God knows if and when Her Rightful Inheritance
will take shape as a published novel.
In
the meantime, with your permission, I will share my journey with
you. Who knows? One day we may share a joyous cyber-shriek as I
announce the arrival of Her Rightful Inheritance in the "Promised
Land" of published novels!
Thank
you for accompanying me on my journey this far. <G>
Until
the next time . . . Dream big and go with God's blessing!
~
Beth
Copyright
2003 Beth Ann Ziarnik
