[The
Dream] [The
Fear] [The
Frustration]
The
Fog
But,
Lord, I thought I was finished!
I vividly recalled the moment I wrote the final word of my novel.
Heroine and hero had lived through danger and discovered love. Better
yet, they surprised me with the unique manner in which they concluded
their story. I had breathed such a sigh of satisfaction!
So,
what's this? All the rewrites I'd labored on, perfecting their story
were not enough? My novel required yet more work?
Not
fair!
I
won't do it. I don't want to do it. I . . .sputtered to a stop.
The
truth was, I had no idea what to do next. Everything I'd learned
had only taken me this far. What more was there?
Stunned
. . . confused, I wandered in a fog for two months, doing my best
to ignore that troublesome novel. Besides, I had plenty to keep
me busy---including my (yea!) new novel.
Yet
that first novel refused to let go. It waited in silence until I
could stand it no more.
Okay,
I did want to do whatever it took to bring it to a publishable state,
but . . . was I even capable of pulling it off?
I
closed my eyes and sank back in my chair. Slowly breathing in and
out, I willed myself into a calmer state.
Lord,What
will it take? What must I do? Please show me the way through this
unfamiliar territory, this terribly dark place.
Suddenly,
the words I'd read earlier that morning flowed back to me.
"I will answer them before they even call on me. While they
are still talking to me about their needs, I will go ahead and answer
their prayers" ~Isaiah 65: 24 (The
Living Bible, Tyndale
House Publishers).
I
sat up, eyes wide open.
Did
this mean the book I had ordered about revision and self-editing
was God's answer?
Maybe.
Maybe not.
But
one thing was sure. Before I ever called out to him, God saw my
need and had gone ahead to answer my prayer. Without a doubt, he
would also show me the way out of this awful writer's fog.
He would enable me to finish my novel.
***
Dear
Reader, many challenges test a writer's resolve. <G> Until
next time . . . In a fog? Call out to God, and you'll find the answer
already on its way.
~
Beth
Copyright
2009 Beth Ann Ziarnik
The
Frustration
I
slumped at my desk and closed my eyes in an effort to trap the tears
that threatened to escape. "I'm ready to give up, Lord! I've
worked on this manuscript and worked on it some more. It's just
not getting anywhere."
"I'm
weary of the battle, Lord. I don't think I'll ever finish this novel."
Tears traced wet paths down my face.
Oh,
great! I palmed them away. "Please, Lord, if you have an
idea to share, I could use it now."
Commit
your work to the Lord, and then your plans will succeed.*
What?
Surely God knew I had dedicated all my writing to him from the very
beginning.
Commit
your work to the Lord, and then your plans will succeed.*
A
cold fist hit my heart. Obviously I was missing something behind
those twelve short words. Something important.
Several
hours later, I pushed my concordances, commentaries, and dictionaries
aside and picked up what I had distilled from them. I stared at
the pages. So that was the problem.
Committing
my work to the Lord was more than offering a quick prayer before
I barreled ahead with my writing plan. It was spreading everything
before the Lord each morning—my manuscript, plans, deadline schedules—and
most of all, myself. It was sharing my difficulties and delights
with him---writing and otherwise. It was praying, "Lord, here
am I. Use me. What do you want me to accomplish today?"
I
knelt down to do that very thing.
Before
long I saw significant progress in the novel's development. Excitement
about the project returned! I couldn't wait to get to my desk each
morning and boot up the computer.
How
glad I am to have learned this valuable lesson: Being a Christian
writer isn't a simple matter of being a Christian and writing. It's
being a Christian who lays her writing gift at the feet of the Lord
and obeys him. As I look back, every one of my published manuscripts
was a fruit of God's plan, not mine. Painful as all the years of
struggle have been, I am grateful that God continues to preserve
that precious pattern.
*
Proverbs 16:3 (NLT)
***
Dear
Reader, this piece has been a long time coming, and now you know
why. <G> Until next time . . . look to the Lord. He will help
you overcome your frustrations!
~
Beth
Copyright
2005 Beth Ann Ziarnik
The
Fear
Fear
gripped me in the pre-dawn dimness! Had I tackled a writhing anaconda?
What made me think I could weave all the intriguing elements of
fiction into flowing perfection? What made me think I could capture
readers' attention . . . entertain them . . . inspire them . . .
make them feel my characters' passions as they pursued their
dreams?
I
squeezed my eyelids shut and burrowed my head in my pillow. Even
if ---by some fluke---I managed to do all that, what made
me think someone would publish my novel? The marketplace grew tighter
every day...the competition greater. I was getting older!
I
groaned. Was I out of my mind? O God, you gave me this dream.
I'm doing my best, but I'm scared to death I can't pull it off.
God
has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, and of love and
of a sound mind.
Wha...?
The words from 2 Timothy 1:7 (NEB) wrapped me like a warm blanket---words
I had written on a note card and kept on my desk as a reminder that
fear is not from God. His enemy uses it, pressing in to squeeze
the life from my creative efforts . . . to stop me from accomplishing
the good God gave me to do.
I
threw back the covers and bolted out of bed, wielding the words
like a sword. "God has not given me a spirit of fear!"
I shouted, "but of power! Of love! And a sound mind!"
Fear
slithered away.
I
took a deep breath and marched into my home office, vowing to fight
fear with the Word of God every time it showed its scaly head. For
"I can do everything through him [Christ] who gives me strength
(Philippians 4:13, NIV)" and "with God all things
are possible (Matthew 19:26, KJV)."
Sitting
down before my computer, I prayed as I booted up. Time to get to
work . . . with the Lord.
***
Thanks
again, dear reader, for sharing in my journey---a writer's journey
not unique to me. <G> Until the next time . . . Fight fear
and work with the Lord!
~
Beth
Copyright
2004 Beth Ann Ziarnik
The
Dream
We
all
have dreams. My dad used to say, "You might as well dream big!
It doesn't cost you anything."
True---when
you're only dreaming. But venture out to achieve your dream, and
"cost" soon reveals itself.
What
does it cost to be an author of a Christian romance novel? Here's
a small portion of what I've learned so far:
